Tuesday, July 1, 2025
News Wave
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • World
  • USA
  • Business
  • Sports
  • Entertainment
  • Technology
News Wave
  • Home
  • World
  • USA
  • Business
  • Sports
  • Entertainment
  • Technology
No Result
View All Result
News Wave
No Result
View All Result
Home World New Zealand

An Ode for .. King Luxon

24 February 2024
in New Zealand
0 0
An Ode for .. King Luxon
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter


Quest for the Holy Mojo

King Luxon the Aspirational

Set out on a quest to find the Holy Mojo.

By his side, his two banner men:

Lord Winston the Unwoke

And Sheriff Seymour of Nottingham.

The Kingdom was fragile and unproductive,

And languished with lack of Mojo.

The three wise men came to a great body of water.

In the waves appeared an ancient Toyota Corolla of legend.

A fair lady stepped out of the rusty sedan

And handed them the keys.

“I am Nicola, Lady of the Strait,” speaketh the apparition,

“Fare thee well on thy most noble pursuit of Mojo.”

The bravehearts drove on through the fields in the Corolla.

They came across a bottom feeder sitting in the mud.

“Please, M’Lud, a crust of bread is all I ask,” pleads the peon.

“No, my good man. I am the King of Tough Love!”

Replieth proud and pious Luxon the Aspirational.

But the King is also a Just King and a Merciful one,

And tosses the peon a pack of Marlboro Lights

To stave off his hunger pangs.

The adventurers come across a large gated Castle.

Two landlords come over and open the boot of the Corolla.

“It’s all yours,” beams King Luxon.

“How much?” Ask the silk-hosed merchants,

Weighing the great sacks of loot.

“About a billion, give or take some pennies.”

Lo, and so the Mojo of the merchants,

Moneylenders and landlords was reenergised

And they did party long and loud

Behind the high walls and deep moats;

And outside in the dark and the mud

The bottom feeders shared around their pack

Of Marlboro Lights,

And contemplated their sins of sloth, idleness,

And failure to accumulate capital gains.

Victor Billot has felt moved to write Odes for public figures these many generations past, such as Lord Winston, Toad of Seymour, and Prime Sinister Jacinda Ardern.



Source link

Loading spinner
Tags: KingLuxonOde
Previous Post

Aleksei Navalny’s Body Was Returned to His Mother, Allies Say

Next Post

Pope cancels meeting with deacons because of ‘mild flu’

Related Posts

Police cordon off street in Ponsonby, workers told ‘not to touch anything’
New Zealand

Police cordon off street in Ponsonby, workers told ‘not to touch anything’

by My News Wave
1 July 2025
0

A homicide investigation is underway after a body was found in Freemans Bay, Auckland, around 10pm on Renall St. Police have a suspect in custody and are not seeking anyone else, while a scene examination continues and an increased police presence is noted in the area. Explain It To Me Like I'm 5: A person was found dead in a house in Auckland, and the police are trying to find out what happened. Want More...

Read more
Carmen Thomas murder: Infamous killer Brad Callaghan to be released this month
New Zealand

Carmen Thomas murder: Infamous killer Brad Callaghan to be released this month

by My News Wave
1 July 2025
0

Bradford James Joseph Callaghan, a civil engineer convicted of murdering and dismembering his former partner, Carmen Thomas, has been granted parole after serving part of his life sentence. Callaghan, who was sentenced in 2012, will be released in early July following a parole board hearing where he expressed remorse and claimed he wished he had been caught sooner. Explain It To Me Like I'm 5: A man who hurt his partner a long time ago...

Read more
Tauranga truck driver Kelly Shearer acquitted of careless driving after Pāpāmoa cyclist Bryan Marris’ death
New Zealand

Tauranga truck driver Kelly Shearer acquitted of careless driving after Pāpāmoa cyclist Bryan Marris’ death

by My News Wave
1 July 2025
0

Truck driver Kelly Shearer felt a bump while turning onto Tasman Quay, initially believing it to be a pothole. After stopping, he discovered a cyclist on the ground and, upon assessing the situation, realized the man was deceased. Explain It To Me Like I'm 5: A truck driver accidentally ran over a cyclist who was lying on the ground and knew that the cyclist was hurt very badly. Want More Context? 🔎

Read more
All Blacks v France: Savea’s switch, rookies in spotlight
New Zealand

All Blacks v France: Savea’s switch, rookies in spotlight

by My News Wave
1 July 2025
0

Ardie Savea's future position is pivotal as All Blacks coach Scott Robertson prepares to announce his first lineup of the year, potentially including up to four rookies, amid Wallace Sititi's injury. Sititi's ankle surgery complicates plans to shift him to his preferred position at the back of the scrum, which had implications for Savea taking the No 7 jersey. Explain It To Me Like I'm 5: Ardie Savea's playing position will help decide which new...

Read more
Atmospheric river bears down on NZ,  gales, rain for north, fresh deluge for storm-hit south
New Zealand

Atmospheric river bears down on NZ, gales, rain for north, fresh deluge for storm-hit south

by My News Wave
1 July 2025
0

The North Island and parts of the South Island are facing severe weather as an atmospheric river brings strong winds and heavy rain, prompting emergency warnings. Up to 150mm of rain is expected in Nelson, Tasman, and Marlborough, with the New Zealand Defence Force and Fire and Emergency teams deployed ahead of the storm. Explain It To Me Like I'm 5: New Zealand is getting ready for a big storm with lots of rain and...

Read more
Jaffas discontinued by New Zealand confectionary company RJ’s
New Zealand

Jaffas discontinued by New Zealand confectionary company RJ’s

by My News Wave
30 June 2025
0

Iconic Kiwi treat Jaffas, the orange chocolate balls made by RJ's, have been discontinued due to declining sales, as confirmed by a company representative. Despite their nostalgic appeal for many, the lack of consumer demand has led to their removal from store shelves and the RJ's product page. Explain It To Me Like I'm 5: Jaffas, a popular Kiwi candy, are going away forever because not enough people are buying them. Want More Context? 🔎

Read more
News Wave

News Summarized. Time Saved. Bite-sized news briefs for busy people. No fluff, just facts.

CATEGORIES

  • Africa
  • Asia Pacific
  • Australia
  • Business
  • Canada
  • Entertainment
  • Europe
  • India
  • Middle East
  • New Zealand
  • Sports
  • Technology
  • UK
  • USA
  • World

LATEST NEWS STORIES

  • Trump threatens to arrest ‘communist’ favored to be NYC mayor and strip his citizenship
  • How the antisemitic meltdown at the Glastonbury Festival unfolded
  • Rebuking 5-year sentence, France urges Algeria to pardon Sansal: What to know
  • About Us
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Contact Us

Copyright © 2025 News Wave
News Wave is not responsible for the content of external sites.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • World
  • USA
  • Business
  • Sports
  • Entertainment
  • Technology

Copyright © 2025 News Wave
News Wave is not responsible for the content of external sites.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In