SINGAPORE: “I never wanted to let you see me cry.” Those words from his then-nine-year-old daughter struck Dr Tan Wu Meng deeply.
The former MP was recalling the toll his political career took on his family – particularly during his time as a political office holder, which required frequent overseas travel.
“I felt very sad,” he told CNA in an interview at a coffee shop in Clementi Avenue 5, in the ward he served for a decade.
Dr Tan was a People’s Action Party (PAP) MP for Jurong GRC from 2015 until this year, when he did not contest the recent election.
From 2018 to 2020, when he was also a senior parliamentary secretary for trade and industry and for foreign affairs, he was often abroad. It was only after returning to the backbench that he saw how his absence had affected his daughters.
Dr Tan has two daughters, one in Secondary 2 and another in Primary 2. His elder daughter was around four years old when he first entered politics.
After he returned to the backbench, she told him: “Daddy, did you know that when you went for a trip overseas, I would cry quietly. But I never wanted to let you see me cry, because you might feel bad about fighting for Singapore, fighting for companies to bring factories and jobs to Singaporeans.”
Dr Tan, an oncologist now with the National Cancer Centre, described such moments as sobering reminders of what public service demands – not just of politicians, but of their families.
“This applies to all young parents who are in politics. The kids don’t always tell you the weight of it until afterwards,” he said.
During his tenure, Dr Tan averaged five days a week on the ground: meeting residents, attending funerals, visiting markets and coffee shops and holding Meet-The-People Sessions (MPS).
One incident that he remembers clearly was helping a grieving mother who was denied compassionate leave after her son died from an infection. Her employer told her she could “take the three days off, but don’t come back to work after that”.
“I was furious,” Dr Tan recalled. “Anyone who messes with my resident like that, I have to do everything I can to try and make sure this kind of employer doesn’t get a free pass. And some of these stories are what drive you to fight for residents in parliament.” His team took the matter up with the Manpower Ministry.
ADJUSTING TO PUBLIC LIFE
Dr Tan’s political journey began in 2005, nearly a decade before his election, when he started volunteering at the MPS in Ulu Pandan. Mentored by experienced grassroots leaders – including a then-volunteer Tin Pei Ling – Dr Tan soon found himself increasingly involved.
“One thing led to another. I started helping out more in the community. I became the organising secretary of the Young PAP,” he said, referring to the party’s youth wing. Eventually, in the lead-up to the 2015 General Election, he was invited to stand as a candidate. He agreed as he “felt a certain duty to go ahead”.
As he stepped into politics, Dr Tan made a conscious choice to shield his children from the public eye. His family live near Clementi, but he would intentionally stay away from their outings in the estate.
He didn’t want his kids to be known as “the children of an MP”, he said. While some MPs chose to involve their families publicly, Dr Tan said each family had to choose what worked for them. For his, maintaining privacy offered stability.
The role of an MP can be “quite all-consuming”, he said, adding that even during family time, his mind was often on residents and how to improve their lives.
“Anyone who puts themselves forward for election to be an MP, regardless of whichever team you’re on, regardless of your political persuasion, regardless of which party – these are folks who really deserve our respect as fellow Singaporeans.”
“MY CLEMENTI RESIDENTS”
During his time in parliament, Dr Tan became known for opening his speeches with the phrase “my Clementi residents”. What began organically became a deliberate choice after residents told him it made them…
